May 2013
northernfrownpour:
some people are so good at talking like they open their mouth and out comes good ideas and perfectly constructed sentences and they have confidence and everyone listens to them talk
but when i talk it’s like hello morning yes butter homework wiggle book good
parents: you spend too much time on the computer, it's like you're addicted
me: fine can i go out
parents: no
javaddward:
anonymously tell me your credit card number ill reply with what I bought
oohtheyhavenibbles:
bonesbuckleup:
So today I learned that Eucalyptus leaves have this chemical in them and when koalas eat the leaves the chemical makes them drunk but since koalas only eat Eucalyptus leaves they basically go through their entire lives perpetually smashed.
blein:
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
blein:
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
Watch
do you ever lay in the dark and think about what a shitty person you are or is that just me
everyone: you cant eat all of that
me: watch me
enimrac01:
knifefarty:
iwonthellamaatthefayre:
wibblywobblyuniverse:
knifefarty:
if i had the power to control time i would probably just use it to sleep more
if you stopped it in a test at the last minute just wandered off, brought your notes in, finished it correctly and put them back that would be a good idea too
If you could stop time you wouldn’t do tests you could just take...
How to Write an Essay
step 1: open Microsoft word
step 2: cry
halloscream:
scareeps:
what r u supposed to do when someone hits on u
hit them back, it’s called self defense you lil dweeb, do u even lift?
“People don’t listen, they just wait for their turn to talk.”
– Chuck Palahniuk (via fawun)
timeywimeyteapot:
timeywimeyteapot:
wow hey look free wifi
i clicked it and now i dont know where i am but theres wifi so it’s okay
cybergay:
my rooms a wreck but then again so is my life
justgivemeafan:
well at least im not a middle aged mom who talks about how blessed she is on every facebook status.
6 tags
so i was like omg i put duct tape on my phone case
and she was like omg that’s weird
and i was OMG ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT??????????
i have to get up in almost 5 hours… but instead im gonna watch anime until i fall asleep which is probably never
lubricates:
The sexual tension between me and no one.
Watchunsexual:
omg this is still funny
celeryandhummus:
our kids will probably attend a middle school dance where the theme is the 2010’s
they’ll wear leggings with ugg boots and twerk to “call me maybe”
everets:
i love when girls do that thing where they pretend theyre shy but really theyre several falcons stuffed into in a human suit.
k1mkardashian:
I’M HONESTLY LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW
OMFG
tapdancers:
saw a man at the beach drowning. he yelled ”help, shark, help.” i just laughed. that shark wont help him
